This is a storytelling about following one’s heart. About letting go of matter, surrendering to the not knowing and the absolute confidence one will be provided for. It is my story about embracing my essence and the path of my life-destination
As I was driving back home, my thoughts wandered off to the meeting of that morning. It had been a hopeful brainstorm session pointing out the importance of working together, role model behavior, centralizing the individual and its talents. And yet, the session ended in a discussion reflecting competitive thinking distinguishing us and them, large and small … Then why?
It was a beautiful and sunny day, end of May 2013 and my birthday. Back home I enjoyed the sunshine. I had really looked forward to this warmth. But as I was restless, I could not relax. Pieces of the meeting that morning still came by. What happened? Literally walking back and forth I suddenly realized : ” in this educational world filled with fear, I do not want to do my thing … but … than I have to set up something myself, away from the current existing structures and their conditional nature … “ Several pieces fell into place.
It was the beginning of my journey of recollection. A journey that would rock my life and showed me the real reason of my powerful energetic capacities.
Through this journey I let go the concept of matter – my house, my home, work, income, a place to live. It showed me the significance of taking things as they come from inner acceptance. I learned to let go thinking of solutions beforehand. Over and over again, till I could let go of this on deeper levels and was able to take each step just as it comes along in each moment.
It also was a journey of saying goodbye to what I used to do. By embracing and acknowledging my true reason for being here and taking full responsibility for this. By letting go the old, starting the next phase of my life and taking my place within the new. Firm, joyful and slowly comprehending what the recollection of my essence was about.
When some weeks later I realized that I needed to sell my house in order to clear the road for this new phase, the big exercise of surrendering started.This meant I not only had to say goodbye to a very nice home, but also faced a huge residual debt. In August it furthermore became clear that the interim project I was working on would run until the beginning of 2014. This was the moment to put my house up for sale.
An emotional period followed; the dark cloud with my financial situation hovered above me. It was totally unclear how the bank would deal with my residual debt. ” How was I going to manage this, financially? Till the sale and the period following this. How could it end up okay anyway? ” My head was spinning with all sorts of opinions.
With practice and ups and downs, I continued my road of full surrender to the gifts of the heart and the calmness of its deep felt trust. More and more I was able to let this in, as I kept on choosing to return to this sort of peace of mind. Instead of that of worrying, giving in to fear and turning to the restlessness of the mind. Gradually, my mind could let go the struggle and relax within the absolute trust of the heart.
Somewhere around the end of April there was a turning point. I reached the U-turn, the deepest point in the process one is fully ready and willing to face.
Funny enough it was my real estate agent who gave me the insight. He said ” Yael, after the death of my father my own business wasn’t running at all. Only after I was prepared to lose it all, the business started to pick up again. “ ‘ Being prepared to lose it all! Being prepared to go down under. To ‘die’ … ‘ This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. But what was actually the worst that could happen to me? The next couple of days I went for the confrontation.
Two weeks later some people came to see the house, that directly resulted in a bid. I went through the last months towards the transfer and process of settlement with the mortgage company step by step. Whilst taking things as they came (along) and dealing with them than. Should my mind have kept the control, it could have never ever imagined the outcome.
Because in the end, I would reach a settlement with final discharge of about 10% of the residual debt. An amount that was paid by an unexpected and unforeseen gift. Something else my mind could not have foreseen, is that I managed financially just right up to the month of the transfer of my home and removal to the village my family lived in.
Then, the week of the final settlement my grandmother passed away. The high speed train stopped. Mentally I was at my limit. I had put my life upside down. I never considered I uprooted my life in such a way its foundation was gone and to be reset. No home sweet home anymore. But a temporary place to live – with my family – and still no new job. I felt as if I was lost. Whereas on the other hand, I clearly knew what direction the road would lead me.
It was as if I had lost contact with myself. I felt doubts. The so familiar contact with myself was hidden deep inside me. Yet I chose to go back to it, again and again. Each time I chose to return to this deep inner peace point of absolute trust. To this inner and always burning fire that knows the way and is not bothered by how things will go or turn out.
Slowly, but steadily the feeling grew that I was on the right track. Although I did not (fore)see this road. Slowly I regained my joy for living, and it became easier to feel that this phase, too, would turn out all right. Slowly it became light again. A year following the transfer of my house, the circle completed. After having lived in different locations, I could live in the former house of my grandfather and grandmother.
With a financial situation that was better than the year before. Through solutions that I could never have foreseen, come up with or would have hold possible in advance.
Yet still without a job, as the unconditionality of the existence cannot be enforced.
My journey continued. My true essence wanted to be remembered, and she was calling louder and louder. Each time more clearly.
In 2003 I was introduced to the basic principles on energy and intuition. From there on my energetic capacities developed in its own natural way and from the depths of my own nature. It laid the foundation of the intensive energy work I – was meant to – do, in which something deep inside me exactly knows the way.
When moving to the village my family lives in, everything fell into place. It was a question from a friend that accelerated things. She felt I could help cleaning – as in energetically cleansing – a specific place nearby where heavy energies were stuck. We went there together and a couple of weeks later this placed called me through a dream (February 2015).
It was the beginning of the unfolding of the true identity of my powerful energetic capacities. And the turning point for very intensive cleansing work for more balance on and around earth. Work that made my heart smile and has become a normality for me. Since it is part of my essence, the being that I am.
During the process of recollection there were some defining moments. Of which the dance between clarity and heaviness was an essential one. This dance can best be compared to the transition we humans and our world currently go through. Within this transformation process – towards a new society based on universal (human) values like equality, harmony and love – we see things are brought to light and unveiled bringing transparency and awakening people.
My dance with heaviness or darkness – as we know it in its dual form – was comparable. This heaviness automatically triggers tension and a first response to protect oneself from its negative impact. In its darkest form it forcibly reminds on all-consuming darkness. I needed to let go this negative load and go beyond it (June 2015). For this I had to shake off the projection that although I work with heavy forces it is not who nor what I am.
In addition, it brought back a strong recollection of standing at the edge of the abyss for a quite some time in order to keep dark and light balanced. Because otherwise the heaviness of the darkness would take everything down under with it. A memory that in time would make sense to me.
As so often clearance comes in due time, and shows the how, what and why along with the enfolding of a process. It took me, for instance, about a year before I figured out that I ‘read’ vibrations and through this I am able to discern precisely what is pure and impure loaded or disturbed (energy). Or that energy-wise I communicate on the deepest level at the core or essence, of both beings and things.
Summer 2015 someone made me aware of the Elohim and that they since April – without year date reference – were communicating with me. This set a new awareness in motion. When making connection with this, it felt deep, familiar and normal. The following months and year it became more and more clear what the Elohim essence meant to my path of life.
For this I had to let go of all rational explanation of the mind and its desire to understand things. And completely surrender to heart-felt comprehension. After all, it is almost inconceivable by mind that from light power I contributed to keeping the whole of dark(ness) and light in balance. And with this carry-fully supported the experience of duality for humanity and earth.
As the journey of recollection proceeded the initial power struggle with the dark side of dual light and its heavy forces slowly became a dance of equals. Slowly I took my place in light of my true essence and its meaning to the whole. Slowly I dared speaking about it. Slowly I worked towards visibility of the work I was doing. With this stepping into my life-destination.
The whispering of the Elohim is satiny soft.
It energizes the experience of being one and carries a message of connections from universal oneness. Their energy is able to harmonize forces of polarity such as positive and negative, matter and antimatter, esoteric manifestation and materialization. Energy-wise they are directly connected to the original blueprint of the Universe and its inscriptions of light.
Therefor their energy has a transparency that pulls the essential to the surface and reflects what is ruffled up. Their light essence contains vibratory frequencies that make possible alignment, redress and activation of for example light codes, energy grids, principles and blueprints. By letting the light codes dance they support universal alchemy, such as the process of raising vibrations.
From this essence, I am here to fulfill a promise during these times of transitions towards peace in the hearts of the earth and all her inhabitants. To bring back the wholeness of separation and division, on earth and beyond. This involves intensive energy work bridging the dual perception and the new awareness from inclusion. As well as carry-fully support to the return of this integral perspective of non-dual light within the earthily existence.
My life stands in total service of my essence, the light being that I am and the path of life it entails. It has become natural for me to fully surrender to this path and work only from the power of Now. Every time in the moment letting things unfold from presence-awareness and openheartedness. Becoming aware what is intended or meant to happen, and going on from there. Each time again.
It still fills me with awe how wonderful things do unfold and evolve when surrendering to the not knowing.
Yet no valid moneymaking job, but very much aware of a task serving the whole and the greater good. The unconditional existence however remained unenforceable.
It has been an intense journey on many levels – that of the mind, heart, will, belly-center and tangibility, both rational, non-rational, mental, emotional, physically grounded, energetical and spiritual – to embrace what my essence and its reason for being here is about. To integrate it into the full awareness of my being and life accordingly. To take this responsibility on from full commitment and surrender regardless the consequences to my regular life, and existence.
It requires reconciliation, in many ways. Not in the least with financial matters. Since money nowadays has become a necessity to survive and make a living. Without a paid job or income another journey was revealed : that of rising above the tension of money and the survival mechanisms the context of the current financial system triggers.
Because in a system that defines our existence and is full of conditioning, conditions and conditionality, it seems unthinkable and unpleasing to live an energizing life that is not about work in a tangible or productive way.
Essentially, my path of life is about making peace on several levels and in various ways with these ambivalent mechanisms and their pressure points. Whilst steadily working on clearing an energy blueprint that in essence carry-full supports life-existence in an absolute way.
Is it not priceless to give life itself and one surroundings a smile? This way inspiring, empowering and energizing others and with this contributing in the most meaningful way.
This gift of life, this sparcle, has no price tag or business case. It simply is. To be given, received and passed through.
If anything else, should the shaping of a new society based on universal (human) values like equality, harmony and love not find itself inspired by realizing this realization?
Met dank aan EllenR. voor de foto’s